How to find your personal melody and harmonize with the moment-A meditation

Whats your personal soundtrack? Can you harmonize with others?

Melody meditation-Aligning ourselves to our world through mindfulness and musically derived imagery.

There was a moment when my daughter wouldn’t get ready for school and I started to really feel anger burning inside of me. That morning, I had woken up early and cooked a huge breakfast for both of my daughters. I pranced around the kitchen, proudly thinking, “ today, I’ve got this mom thing nailed.” I chuckled at myself and my unusual display of maternal confidence.

Ha! The joke was on me when the morning spiraled downwards shortly thereafter. My daughter ended up resisting every effort to prepare her for school. I had a miscommunication with my partner; my daughter ended up missing the bus, and almost cried.

Meanwhile, the “hippy-go-lucky” in me has been contemplating music and each of us having our own personal soundtrack. I’ve been thinking how each moment  has its own soundtrack, like when you watch a movie and the music totally sets the tone for the moment.

 Since I am a mindfulness practitioner, lover and seeker, I’ve been applying this concept of musicality to mindfulness. In a nutshell, I see the moment having a tune that applies to that very moment itself. I also see that we all carry around our own melody. I feel that if we can identify both the moment’s tune and our own song and try to harmonize them, it’s one more way to relish the moment and live mindfully.

For example, on this good-gone-bad morning there were three clashing songs. The rhythm of the morning itself was light and peaceful, something I adore when meditating or on an early morning run, but completely detach from when getting myself or children prepared for the day.

 My daughter’s rhythm is slow and beautiful. It is meandering and graceful. She is a dreamer and a delicate soul. Her energy exudes Enya or Bach. She is a beautiful spirit and a sweet being. Then there is, me. When on task I am very focused and driven. I used to listen to Shinedown when I had a lot of writing or paperwork to do. It is on the loud side, tinged with assertive notions and emotion; Strong and purposeful. I listen to Pink and Katy Perry or Beyonce when I am happy and excited. Up beat and also strong.

The problem I encountered this morning was matching my rhythm to my daughter’s. She floats around in beautiful dreamland like a butterfly, attracted to the light of each toy or thought, not having much awareness of her surroundings. It is a touching image to watch and in many ways I am filled with pride at her softness and fresh approach. It is when I need her to listen to directions, do something timely like get ready for school or finish her homework before dinner that our rhythms clash.

If I were able to turn down the volume on my own agenda and soften to her nature, I would have allowed her more breathing room in her routine and possibly not frazzled her to the point of not successfully getting to the bus stop on time. I also could have tuned into the peaceful slow pace of the morning and allowed her to get ready slowly, or awakened her earlier so that she could have some quiet time before jumping headfirst into the day.

 As she gets older, I also hope to teach her when there are times to turn down a bit of her own beautiful dreaminess, just long enough to stay on task or to be aware of the important things around her. I would love to be able to find a way to do all three at once, or one at a time overall. The goal is to be open and to harmonize. We all have our own melody and we are each beautiful in our own right. But it is in relation to others that conflict and harshness can arise. Unless, we learn to tune in to those around us, literally and figuratively, life can is easily become a clash of bands rather than the harmony of a symphony.

Try this meditation to find and tune to your own soundtrack, your own rhythm, in breath and in life.

Allow your eyes to close or your gaze to soften and drop to the floor or a comfortable spot where you can hold the focus without effort

Stretch your spine upwards toward the ceiling, the stars and the sun. Imagine a thin white light being opened on the top of your head and connecting you to a higher power above the space of your physical body.

Imagine that light caressing down your straight spine and reaching your mind, your heart center and your base Chakra at the bottom of your spine.

Breathe in Breathe out. Sit in silence for three minutes

As I breathe in I am fully aligned with this exact moment in time. I am aware of my body in this room. I am aware of this room in this building and my community around me. I recognize that we are all connected and we are all one.

I bring my awareness back to my self. Breathing in, I sense a bright light in my mind. I see a color around this light. Breathing out, I sense a bright light around my heart. I picture the same color around my emotional being. Breathing in, I imagine a bright light around my entire physical being. I become aware of the harmony that magically evolves as I match my self to the moment.

Breath in and out silently for three minutes

Breathing in, I think of the melody that could describe my inner self, my core of my being. Is it joyful? It is steady? Is it angry? It is loud or quiet? What does my inner being project to myself and others as I navigate my way through life each day? Breathing in, I identify my personal melody. Breathing out, melody

Breathe silently for three minutes

I recognize that in my most difficult or joyful moments, my own personal melody can drown out the melody of life unfolding around me. I recognize that in order to align with the moment, I must turn down the volume of “me” and tune in to what surrounds my spirit in that moment. Breathing in and breathing out, I focus on what it feels like to tune in to that which is around me. I see my own song and the song of the earth as one harmonious tune. I am able to lend my spirit in a positive way to whatever is around me, to be open and to give. I am equally able to lend my spirit to taking in my surroundings in  a positive way. I am wanting to experience feeling, listening and being open. Life energy can easily flow without the clashing of various sounds within the same sphere. This is peace. This is mindfulness.

Breathe silently on this image for 10 minutes

Beginning visualization repeats….

Stretch your spine upwards toward the ceiling, the stars and the sun. Imagine a thin white light being opened on the top of your head and connecting you to a higher power above the space of your physical body.

Imagine that light caressing down your straight spine and reaching your mind, your heart center and your base chakra at the bottom of your spine.

Breathe in Breathe out. Sit in silence for three minutes

As I breathe in I am fully aligned with this exact moment in time. I am aware of my body in this room. I am aware of this room in this building and my community around me. I recognize that we are all connected and we are all one.

I bring my awareness back to my self. Breathing in, I sense a bright light in my mind. I see a color around this light. Breathing out, I sense a bright light around my heart. I picture the same color around my emotional being. Breathing in, I imagine a bright light around my entire physical being. I become aware of the harmony that is inherent in matching my self to the moment.

When I am ready I allow my eyes to softly open and I return my awareness to this room as I bring with me the sensation of peace and mindfulness, I continue my journey.

My soul is a kite flying in the changing winds of time

The question is not where did the spiritual journey begin but why did it end? The answer doesn’t matter. Its as if I have been time traveling through a dark tunnel unknowingly in the dark. Only this morning when I was filled with and surrounded by light, did I become aware of the stark contrast that was previously dark and small. The expansiveness that is the spirit is upon and within me. My eyes once blurry are now filled with clarity.

Upon waking this morning, I burrowed deeper into the comfort of my bed. The warmth surrounding me, felt as if it were sheltering me from the outside. My first thought, I hate mornings. My inner thought, pushed aside, or is it just daylight, reality, and awakening that I hate? Those thoughts are too painful to really address, so I chose to ignore them. And the truth is, I LOVE so many things about my life so it it were a thought to be addressed does that negate all that is positive and amazing? The hole within me was aching for something, but what? This feeling is too familiar. This feeling is too often asking me to soothe it.

Although, there are countless things and moments in life that I overwhelmingly appreciate and adore, I am equally empty based on this loss of connection to the spirit. It is entirely impossible for me to live a fulfilled existence that is void of spiritual connection. I am nearly breathless without walking on the bare earth, running my fingers along tree leaves and inhaling outside air. I am nearly broken without sliding along the brushstroke of a paint brush as bright blue paint is delicately drawn by my hands across a canvas. Darkness escapes me when music pounds along with my pulse, joy fills me when a melody swings inside of my bones. As my eyes graze upon the joy behind the smile of a loved one my heart can expand with happiness and gratitude and wonder. When the touch of my child’s hand caresses my own, warm, alive and squishy; I feel alive, free and complete. These are only some of the spiritual moments that occur on a daily basis. How do I find them behind the veil of smog that is daily tasks, thoughts, planning, stress and fatigue? I find them with mindfulness. Mindfulness has become my religion. Imperative to a daily meal, allowing my self to settle on the moment to moment has become my savior.

This journey away from spirit and back to mindfulness has been long. I have studied interpersonal and intercultural communications as well as child development as college pursuits. I minored in art, its own religion in its own right. I have explored countless books on various philosophies, spirituality and human psyche.  I have attended temple and church and have whole heartedly engaged in celebration of religious holidays. The softest place I have landed until now has been one derived from Ancient Buddism but it now a modern spiritual journey. It is one that welcomes any one and can be studied in a very non secular way. It is called Mindfulness. Mindfulness has been my beacon of light back to the shore of my soul. But I am still in the waters, paddling and on this journey. There is a fog that has cleared and I see that this beacon of light is entirely larger than itself. As the grey airs become translucent,  my eyes travel up the path of the light seeing a humongous lighthouse, standing solidly and regally behind. The light itself has been the path I followed through the dark, but it was cast from something much larger. Something, I akin to God or the universe as a whole.

Before rolling out of bed, I was drawn to watch a series called Super Soul Sunday on Oprah’s OWN website. I have often wanted to watch one of these but hadn’t found the time. This morning I was feeling weak and unable to get out of bed right away. Partially because I was 4 months into a difficult pregnancy, party because I was on the tail end of an emotionally trying week. Partially because to be honest, in between all of the moments of mindfulness, gratitude and joy in years past I have experienced a multitude of extremely painful situations. None, I feel like exploring in depth at the moment, but including death, divorce, abuse, losing jobs, money, sense of purpose, and giving birth to and raising two children. But this is just the story. We all have a story. There is no one without a story and it doesn’t matter what the details are because what matters is the now and the journey itself.

Once on the Own website, I chose an hour-long  video clip of the best moments of spiritual guidance given by some of the worlds experts in spirituality. I listened to the words and felt the energy of Deepak Chopra, Thich Nhat Hanh, Eckart Tolle and others. I started to tear up, at first thinking it was a side effect of my hormonal pregnant body. Then I became aware that this was not sadness, this was not physical. These tears were drawn deep from a spiritual and profound place within me.  Images of my past were highlighted suddenly into my consciousness. I didn’t recall anything sad, bad or painful. I remembered the moments I connected to the spirit. I also remember the moments I felt the need to disconnect. I saw my ten year-old body falling through the air after a tree branch broke. I knew I had climbed and sat on the lowest branch of the tree yet I landed perfectly balanced and without impact on a branch lower, unharmed. I knew it was an angel. I saw my seven year old self looking at an ornament on my neighbors tree that read “Jesus is the reason for the season” looking into her eyes and watching her surprise as I the Jewish girl next door with no formal religious education told her, “It is you know, it IS the reason!” She chuckled and said, “I know hunny”. She raised her eyebrow to her husband. They were a kind old Italian couple with grandkids my age who warmly welcomed me into their home on Sundays for meals and playing. I felt like I was in a room filled with light and that the gold sparkle of the ornament was brighter than the sun itself. I felt when I looked into her eyes I could see so much more than her. Everything seemed large and I half wondered what I was even saying or meant as this was nothing I knew of or was taught. Yet the conviction that filled me was astoundingly strong. And then just as quickly the moment passed. 

As I continued listening to the words of these spiritual leaders more memories came in and out. A flash of a bike crunching under a cars tires and a few feet away, me somehow tossed with little but a scrape to mind; Again, an angel. The shiny gold crosses my classmates wore in high school, how hurt I felt that this was not MY religion and not something I was supposed to believe in yet seeing that those crosses were surrounded by light and safety. Sadness, that I wasn’t allowed to connect to it. I had no formal religious upbringing. My parents did not want to force religion on me, which is a decision I respect. This level of open mindedness and exploration has now led me to a place of great spiritual connection without feeling the need to classify or label it. But within me, my soul has always craved nothing more than a connection to spirit. All I want or care for or am passionate about in this life is connection to spirit. There is nothing stronger that I want to connect to, share with others or teach. This is my life purpose. I know it more soundly and peacefully than any feeling I could even imagine I could experience.   Three days ago, Wednesday night,  I asked my brother who has passed and my angels and the universe to open my heart and my mind, to guide me because I was feeling confused and saddened by it.  The following day, I tuned in to a religious radio station randomly while driving my daughter to gymnastics and stopped as the tunes instantly drew me in., moments later realizing it was religious, but kept it there and kept listening. I stopped at a light and a song sang the words of a lighthouse. I looked up and saw a building with lighthouse and nothing else written on the side and was filled with a feeling like this was a sign, but I didn’t know what the sign meant.  On Friday while having dinner with my mom, she instinctively picked up on my feelings and chose to share a story with me that was centered around the spirit and the presence of it in our lives, and the decisions we make. Last night I fell asleep asking my dreams to guide me, asking the universe to tell me why I am here and what I direction to face. As I write these words hours later in a coffee shop, I am filled with a soft glow of peace. This truth was given to me this morning and it’s a gift I will cherish. The thoughts so intense, I knew I had to get it all down in words and nothing in this moment could feel better. I am filled with wonder and gratitude.