Wild Horses- a reflection on discipline and imperfection

Can your life be like a well laid out game, slip sliding through happiness and pain
All rules laid out, obstacles clear, you know when to jump, you know when to cheer
Can I regulate and stipulate, and give that kind of consistency?
As the free spirited, creative whimsical woman I can be?
Can she ride in balance with "mommy"?

You will never have to wonder if my love will be here
My presence is unwavering, adoration of you clear
Im endlessly fair
You always know I care

I try fixing all things beyond repair
even the sometimes mess of me
Has a hold on some of my share

But I am only as perfect a mother and wife
As a person who came first in life
Mommies are gems, like diamonds
Created under the pressure of raising children
A magical transformation where the best of us
Is formed
By our love for our born

Mommies are Rough and raw underneath
Original and authentic
I can only give you the me that is here
I cant be scripted or equipped at things that just arnt there

So here I am to say, I messed up in a way
And here I am to say, I'll try to do better the next day

Failure isn't lack of perfection
Its more akin to giving up and giving in

In my utopian desire for the unaltered beauty of an unbridled child in play
I may have kinda ruined some days
My little treasures,  you've walked into moments with hidden jumps popping up
Rather than feeling the wind of the free spirit
You absorbed the anxiety of the unexpected storm

And I felt your shuddered cries in trepidation at the unknown
My rules have been unclear some days
I didn't set up your fun and games to play
In a clear enough way
I feel bad for my lack here and Im trying to say
Ill do my best to guide you in the power of yield
We will hold hands and run wild as horses in the field
Throughout our days
With just a slight and gentle prompting of me showing you the way
I'll ride in the front and blaze our trails
Uphill this time to the pastures above
A trot to a meadow filled with love


In my mistake I've discovered a golden rule
Once again in teaching you, it's I who has learned
Fall in line, just slightly behind me baby girls as this new trail is burned